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I tend to agree with the author Robert Sapolsky that aggression will always be a part of human experience. Love also will be a part of the human experience since the biologies of strong love and strong hate are the same. The context of aggression matters. Animals as well as humans protect their children from the cruel jaws of mean aggressors. In order to protect the innocent, aggressive behaviors have to be dealt without reacting. And that's the way I interpret the behavior of the mother narrated in this essay. Without using discretion counter- aggressive behaviors could cause havoc. History is full of such violent behaviors whether it is like throwing nuclear bombs or poisonous gas in Japan and Vietnam. If we follow "eye for an eye" way for retaliating to the enemy then as Mahatma Gandhi said the whole world will be blind.
My stance on aggression and violence is to respond to violence with non-violence and hate with love. Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr and Dalai Lama are living examples of implementing this philosophy. I have not encountered heavy duty aggressive behaviors in my life. A couple of times I had run into aggressive car drivers cutting me off on highways. I let them pass by praying for their safety and the safety of other drivers like me. There are aggressive drivers on roads. It does not make sense to react to them aggressively. I apply the wise saying of Viktor Frankl when I encounter aggressive behaviors in my life. " Between a stimulus and a response there is gap and in that space there is freedom and power." When I encounter an aggressive behavior I pause, breathe deeply and I remain in charge of my potentially aggressive response. I try to empathize with the aggressor and respond to him compassionately. Many times aggressive behaviors are symptoms of unresolved deep conflicts. If I counteract with an aggressive behavior, it adds fuel to the fire. Regular practice of Mindfulness Meditation and Loving Kindness has been very helpful to me for regulating my aggressive impulses and for creating kindness and compassion for the other person. Namaste!
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Listening is a personal pilgrimage that takes time and a willingness to lean into life. Unpredictable as life itself, the practice of listening is one of the most mysterious, luminous, and challenging art forms on earth. Listening is the first step to peace. We need to quiet our noisy minds and all the the thoughts we inherit and store in our mind. Our mind becomes a storehouse.
When we listen attentively the differences between us move back and things we have in common move forward. We need to quiet the patterns of thinking of our past. Listening is not a shortcut, but a way to embody the one life we are given, a way to personalize the practice of human being. In real ways, we are invited each day to slow down and listen. Listening stitches the world together. Listening is the doorway to everything that matters. It enlivens the heart the way breathing enlivens the lungs. We listen to awaken our heart. This is the work of reverence-to stay vital and alive by listening with an open heart. Attentive listening is our way into lifelong friendships. This is the work of being human. This is the work of love., the work of being human. And our friendship with each other opens us to the wisdom of care. This is the work of love. We need to stay loyal to these three friendships: the work of being, the work of being human, and the work of love. In a daily way, listening is being present enough to hear the One in many and the many in One. Listening is an animated process by which we feel and understand the moment we are in, repeatedly connecting the inner world with the world around us, letting the one inform the other. All this helps us hear who we are because our identity and the reach of our gifts can only be in relationship: listening helps us discover our relationship to all that supports us in life. We can start a new place to start no matter how overwhelmed we might feel by listening to the inmost self. It helps us to think of silence as the connective tissues of life. It is giving our complete attention to the silence that holds our self that awakens us to both the soul’s calling and the call of the soul. While the souls’ calling is the work we are born to do, the call of the soul is the irresistible yearning to experience aliveness. The center of our aliveness doesn’t care about what we achieve or accomplish, only that we stay close to the pulse of what it means to be alive. The deeper we look at listening, the more we find that it has to do with being present, because a commitment to being fully present enables us to listen more to others, to their dreams and pain, to the retelling of their stories. It deepens our compassion. And listening to the history of our heart allows us to hear the ache of being alive. Each of the ways of listening- to an innermost self, to the silence that joins everything, to the soul’s calling for the meaningful work, to the call of the soul to be simply be alive, to the complete presence of others that holding nothing back opens in us, and the tug of life and its sweet ache of constant connection-is the practice that deepens our understanding of who we are and of the precious life we ‘re given in our time on earth. How do we make our choices and how do we live our life is a question for every body. If I make selfish choices for my personal benefit at the cost of others, I am leading a low level life. This way of living diminishes my well being and well being of society. In order to live life fully I need to set values that enrich my life and the lives of others. This is a radical shift in my consciousness moving from a lower level of consciousness to a higher level of consciousness. I expand my consciousness by surrendering to higher consciousness. As the author of this essay James O'dea says "A Higher Level of Conscious Engagement".
When I see people who are suffering physically, mentally and emotionally I feel deep compassion for them. I extend my hand to help them by counseling or doing what I can to reduce their suffering. My actions are based on my deep compassion for them without expecting anything in return. This is my way of practicing Karma Yoga. This way I am detached spiritually, fully engaged without being bound by my attachment to the fruits of my action. This is also an example of a higher level of conscious engagement. Living this way brings deep joy and fulfillment in my life. Keeping the light of self-awareness and following that light helps me avoid self-absorption and superficial understanding. I have learned to step aside when a selfish thought or a desire arises in me. Remaining awake and aware helps me of not getting trapped by my self-absorption and superficial understanding. Light of self-awareness keeps me walking on the right path. Namaste! The short story "Two Drops of Oil" authored by Paulo Coelho makes me aware of enjoying the wonders of the world without losing the core of my being, the essence of my being, the Two Drops Oil in my spoon. When I get caught up in the outer world by losing the center of myself I deprive myself of the fullness and richness of my experience. Then I am not fully present with myself. Half lived life is not worth living.
When I meditate I taste the fullness of the present moment. Inner and outer distractions fade away and I am in the flow of the present. When I am fully present with someone close to me, I feel deep connectedness between both of us. Such experiences are enriching and fulfilling. When I walk in nature mindfully I am fully present. I get deeply connected with nature. In this busy world it is hard to find alone time, a time in which I can be myself without distractions and demands. I carve my own time to be with myself fully. This way I fill the cup of my life and gladly share it with others without expecting anything in return. Loving someone unconditionally fills my heart with joy. Namaste! Reading the essay Thirsty For Wonder authored by Mirabai Starr stirred up thirst for wonder in me. I welcome such thought provoking writings and I am thankful to Mirabai for offering this gift to us. Her writing made me introspect and reflect. It is my experience and observation that we usually stay in the known zone. It is relatively a safe zone. However, there are times when I want to beyond the known zone-the unknown zone, the zone of unknowingness. This is wonderland for me where beauty unfolds herself effortlessly, an unheard sound resounds in the heart, and the sky of the mind is clear and is filled with divine light. It is an eye kissing light, heart feeling sound.
The sacred or the divine is always present but our eyes are closed to see it. I need to cleanse my eyes to see the unknowingness; to open my ears to hear the unheard sound; to open my hands to receive the Divine Gift and open my heart to feel the Divine Presence. I experience such moments when I am fully present in the present moment with me, with someone close to me and with nature. It happens when I do not try to make it happen. It happens when I meditate; when I teach or help someone needing help. Such experiences enrich me and lift me up. Quiet, clear and unclouded mind helps me to pull the veil back. The veil clouds my consciousness and creates separateness and disconnect. When the veil is pulled back, I see the light of oneness, one unified consciousness. Such experiences are sacred. They deepen my thirst for wonder. This is an inward journey. Daily practice of Mindfulness Meditation, being in the company of kindred spirits called satsanga, reading inspiring and enlightening books or poems and serving people unselfishly helps me in my spiritual journey. Namaste! There is a basic difference between searching and finding. In searching we have a goal to achieve. So there is a seer and the seen, subject and object. There is duality between the subject and the object. This is a kind of doing or in the words of author Rob Burbea is "fabricating". This is our normal way of thinking and searching. What we are searching is colored by our desires and expectations and it causes elation and depletion. We are bound by this cycle which is called "samsara." Finding is discovering, something that is always "is". This is our "being" or Self The seen the world, always changes. The "seer", Self, is unchanging.
Normally, I am a citizen of two worlds. One world is made up of changes. This world has ups and downs. This is a world of doing and having. When I am not caught up in this self-created dichotomous world, when I am "awake" and aware of this dichotomy I am a citizen of a different world. It is a world of "being". I realize the oneness of all beings. It is a unitive consciousness. We may call it a world of TRUELOVE. This is the miracle of living. Reaching out and helping someone who needs help, caring for others whole heartedly expecting nothing in return, not harming others, daily practice of mindfulness meditation and practicing mindfulness in everyday living helps me to be connected with "Being". This is the way of freeing myself from myself. The light of awakening and awareness helps me walk in the journey of my life. Namaste! Sylvia Boorstein has written an interesting article and here's my reflection to it:
Who am I is a perennial inquiry made in all wisdom traditions. Is there oneness underlying manyness? Is there unity underlying diversity? What causes suffering? Who is suffering? Is there something everlasting? When I identify myself with suffering and dwell on the story of my suffering, I am trapping myself in suffering. Then the blame game begins. She insulted me. He abused me. The mind keeps on telling this story of suffering. This is the haunting and trapping voice of the ego continuing the story of suffering. Awareness of this ongoing mental melodrama and chattering is a way of going beyond the storytelling of suffering. It is not easy to wake up from the slumber of self-created suffering. It is hard to be free from the self-created shackles of suffering. It is journey of self-awakening. Waking up from the nightmare of suffering is not easy. It is difficult to rise up from the self-generated fall, to wake up from the sleep and remain awake. I have been learning and practicing to keep the lamp of awareness shining in my transactions with others in my everyday life. Practicing mindfulness in my everyday life has been very helpful to me. Such practice helps me from draining my emotional energy and not losing my healthy emotional vitality. Namaste! Things happen in our life. We experience ups and downs , joys and sorrows, gains and losses, sunrises and sunsets. We have a tendency to personalize them. As result like Mark Manson says (in the awakin.org) we place ourselves onto to a self-esteem roller coaster, where our self-worth bobs up and own. I know I am not perfect. There are times when I have not been successful. What helps me to go through such experiences is to remind myself that I am not a failure but I have gone through a failure. The same way when things go my way I remind myself that I am not a success but I have gone through a successful experience. This way I do not get trapped by my ego.
I have gone through a number of experiences in my life that have taught me not take ups and downs in my life personally. How I perceive what happens is my life makes a big difference. When someone praises me or puts me down, I do not get inflated or depleted. Many times I take their perceptions of me as their self-projections. Practicing discretion helps me separate milk from water called nirakshira viveka in Sanskrit. As I was growing up my father taught me this wise saying. When someone throws a judgmental or acritical arrow at me, I pause, take a few deep breaths make a wise choice, separate milk from water. Life is a school for us to learn how to live mindfully, how to go though ups and downs with equanimity and gratefully. Namaste! Susan Kahn uses the metaphor of Emptiness Cafe to convey the idea of emptiness is fullness. The Spanish mystic John of the Cross calls 'unknowing' an ecstasy. Our mind is mostly dwelling on the same known thoughts. Thought is nothing but a thing. When my mind is still and free I am hanging out in Emptiness Cafe. In this clear and empty space I feel the fullness of the present moment. It is like hearing the soundless sound.
When I am in deep meditation and when my mind is free from distracting thoughts time disappears. I am in Emptiness Cafe where life unfolds with no boundaries of space and time. It is an experience of enlightenment and fulfillment, and abiding love and joy. Like Rabindranath Tagore sings, "Ah, the light dances, my darling, at the center of my life, the light strikes, my darling, the chords of my love." Duality is caused in the mind when I relate to myself as not a integral part of the universe. Then the walls created by the conditioned mind between me and the others create a mental split. It is a divided self. Listening to mystics, reflecting on their words of wisdom and integrating them in my life has been very helpful to me to see non-duality in duality. Daily practice of Meditation sustains and reinforces my stance. It helps me to see and experience the unity of life. Namaste! Selected verses from Tejobindu Upanishad:
Let us meditate on the Shining Self. Changeless underlying the world of change, And realized in the heart in samadhi. They alone attain samadhi who have Mastered their senses and are free from anger, Free from self-will and from likes and dislikes, Without selfish bonds to people and things. Though the three gunas emanate from Him, He is infinite and invisible. Though all the galaxies emerge from Him, He is without form and unconditioned. To be united with the Lord of Love Is to be freed from conditioning. This is the state of Self-realization. Far beyond the reach of words and thoughts. To be united with the Lord of Love, Imperishable, changeless, beyond cause And effect is to find infinite joy. Brahaman is beyond duality, Beyond the reach of thinker and thought. Brahman cannot be realized by those Who are subject to greed, fear, and anger. Brahman cannot be realized by those Who are subject to the pride of name and fame Or to the vanity of scholarship. Brahman cannot be realized by those Who are enmeshed in duality. But to all those who pierce this duality, Whose hearts are given to the Lord of Love, He gives himself through His infinite grace; He gives himself through His infinite grace. |
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