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Nancy Collier has written an interesting article and below is my reflection to it:
The self-image that I create is only the reflection of the outside of me. It is like stagnant water rather than the flowing river. My life is dynamic. It is not static. It is becoming. It is a process and not a product. The image of me is not my identity which is vibrating with energy and changing. The outside of me does not represent the inside of me. We all have potential to grow horizontally and vertically. The horizontal axis represents the expansion of my consciousness-my organic connection with nature and people. The vertical axis represents the depth of my relationship with nature and people. In order to experience my inner world, my true identity, I need to be with me fully without getting caught up in mentally narrating what happened in the past or worrying about what will happen in the future. It is flowing with the present. This happens when I do mindfulness meditation and practicing mindfulness in different contexts of my everyday life. This practice helps me grow on both horizontal and vertical axes. It happens when I am listening to me and to others with an open mind and an open heart. It happens when I listen to music or get absorbed in reading a book or contemplating. Non-judgmental awareness of my inner and outer world helps me avoid the trap of using life as a product to protect my image. Knowing that posting my image on a smart phone is not my true identity. Knowing that my shadow is an unrecognized and unaccepted part of darkness within me and working on it frees me from my self-created bondage. This is a life-long process. There is light within me that keeps me awake in the journey of my life. That light is my guide, my savior. Namaste!
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.John Yates is the author of 'The Mind Illuminated'. An excerpt from the book is published here. Below is my reflection to the article:
Our minds discriminate between right and wrong or this and that. What is being discriminated takes place in our unconscious sub-minds. In that sense I is the narrator of the experience or I is the product of a collection of the unconscious sub-minds. How do I know that? What is that I? It is awareness. Awareness is like an observer. It is pure witnessing consciousness untouched by the collection of sub-minds. That helps us from being caught up in mistaken identity. When I need to or want to make an important decision about what to choose I do not act impulsively or by my habitual patterns of rushing without pausing. From my experience of such actions I have learned not to be controlled by the voices of unconscious sub-minds. This way of making wise choices is an ongoing process. It is worth doing to prevent or avoid myself from falling into a pit of suffering. The light of awareness helps me when I am moving toward the dark zone-the wrong zone. When I am aware of what is going on in my mind and refrain myself from doing harm to me and to others, my action becomes a blessing to me and to others connected with me. Mindful actions bring blessings and prevent curses. Namaste! Ashley Whillans has written a nice article on importance of time. Following is my reflection on it:
When my mind is divided between two cognitive polls like I want to do something leisurely and enjoyable such as reading a book and checking important email messages I feel trapped by time and feel time poverty. When I do something which I enjoy doing without technological interruptions and technological invasions I feel time affluence, a relaxed, gratifying and joyful state of mind. When my time is fragmented by two demanding tasks, I feel stressed out and not satisfied with either of the two tasks. Time confetti fragments the time of leisure, peacefulness and restfulness. Technology saves time but at the same time takes time away. It's like I have saved time but also I have lost time. Gain and loss at the same time! This is indeed the autonomy paradox. Good life is choice making. I use discretion when it comes to spending my time. I do not make every situation urgent unless it is really urgent. I have intentionally and wisely broken habitual patterns of automatically and mindlessly responding to tempting and distracting stimuli. It takes time to disengage from the grip of time confetti. I maintain a balance between demanding work and leisurely play. This is an ongoing process. As Ashley Whillans says, " Working toward time affluence is about recognizing and overcoming the time traps in our lives." It amounts to controlling impulses that captivate my mind. It means cultivating the virtue of wisdom and the virtue of patience leading to wise choices and wise actions. Namaste! Metta, Loving Kindness is one of the ten virtues of wisdom. There are three ways of cultivating skills of loving kindness. Before we learn how to practice loving kindness we need to know what hinders or obstructs the cultivation of loving kindness.
There are five hindrances.
The first way or version is for the monastics. As the Metta Sutta describes,” Come, monastics, give up these five hindrances, corruptions of the heart that weaken wisdom, and meditate spreading a heart full of lovingkindness to the whole world-abundantant, expansive, limitless, free of enmity and ill will. “ The second way or version is for the worldly people. As the Metta Sutta describes, “ Just as a mother would protect her only son, with her own life, so one should develop toward all beings a state of mind without boundaries.” We broadcast these emotions of loving kindness like a conch blower or horn blower spreading the sound everywhere, in all directions. This practice is to change the way our unmindful mind works. It is to make our mind malleable and fluid without bounding, spreading all around in all directions; to shift the focus of our mind from unskillful emotions like ill will, resentment, anger or hatred to the skillful emotions like loving kindness towards all beings. Changes do not happen in a short time. We need to practice loving kindness on a consistent basis. You may select one person per day and expand your circle slowly. Do not rush. It is like planting the seeds of loving kindness in a small pot and slowly expanding the pot. The word love has many faces. In ancient Greek language three are three different words for love:
Loving kindness is pushing us toward agape and philia from the limiting romantic and sexual love. It does not mean not to enjoy life. In fact life becomes more joyful when we free ourselves from the shackles of unmindfulness and unawareness. When we start practicing Metta, we begin with being kind and loving to us. May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be kind. May I be peaceful. May I be at ease. May I be loving. Select three areas of your relational life which are relevant to you at this time in your life. Then replace them and expand the areas. From the self we expand to family, friends, neighbors, strangers and others. The last circle is our enemy or adversary. This is not easy to do. This is our spiritual practice that embraces all beings without boundaries and barriers. <-Go back to Pragna Paramita Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has done pioneering work in the field of nonviolent communication.
Purpose The purpose of nonviolent communication is to contribute to the well-being of the persons involved in the relationship. It is aimed at relating to each other with authenticity, empathy, compassion and openness. It is meant to connect with each other without judgment, to resolve dividing differences and build human bridges. Four Steps The following four interrelated steps are involved in learning and practicing nonviolent communication.
Empathic Connection What do I want the other person to do for me? What does the other person want me to do for him? How do we create and sustain our connection? This requires connecting with the needs and feelings of each other. Empathy for oneself and empathy for the other person is one of the most important ingredients of connecting with ourselves and with each other. Empathy is the language of the heart, not of the head. Empathy creates aliveness in our communication. It creates aliveness in us and in the other person. We feel someone cares for us and is willing to understand what we are going through without passing judgment. What are my needs that are not fulfilled? How do I feel about it? When we explore ourselves empathically, compassionately and authentically, we understand ourselves and work on ourselves. What does the other person want me to do? What are his needs that are not fulfilled? And how does he feel about it? When we explore ourselves in relationship with each other, we become more alive and explore ways and means of sustaining this aliveness in our relationship. We make it sure we do not blame us or the other person for not having our relationship alive. Blame, guilt, shame, humiliation block the flow of aliveness in our communication and relationship. Communication is a bipolar process. Both of you, the receiver and the giver, will have an empathic and open minded stance in listening to each other. Both of you will reveal your inner world of unfulfilling needs and feelings to each other. Both of you will implement the model of nonviolent communication: describe the specific behavior displayed, specific feelings experienced, specific needs fulfilled or not fulfilled, and request to fulfill mutual needs. In empathic communication, we remain fully present with each other. Our body language, our eyes, our posture, the words we use and the tone of our voice are powerful indicators of our empathic connection. Am I fully with you? - is an important awareness question for us in empathic connection. This is a very potent aspect of communication. What we need to change in us and between us can be explored with each other openly and compassionately. Change within ourselves and the other person takes time. It can be done slowly but steadily in the environment of empathy and positive regard. This way, we contribute to the well-being of each other and make our relationship fulfilling. It will be very helpful to share and discuss one specific experience you have had with someone in your family. Apply this model of nonviolent communication and see how it works. It is a good idea to keep a journal recording what worked, how it worked and what you learned from your experience. Our intention in interpersonal communication and relationship is to understand and to be understood empathically and compassionately. In order to realize this intention follow the following steps:
Empathy True empathy is three dimensional.
The first step is connecting more deeply with our own experience through Mindfulness. Self-awareness is the basis for empathic connection. As we experience the inner landscape of our own life, so grows our ability to understand the inner lives of others. The following are the building blocks of interpersonal communication or dialogue.
Marshall Rosenberg points out four key aspects of non-violent communication.
In order to achieve a goal we need to cultivate determination. Setting the right goal is very important. In order to achieve the goal we have to walk on the path with determination. If we want to reach the top of the mountain we need to keep on climbing with a firm determination. Sometimes we may lose our hope for attaining our goal. We may feel despair and think, it is impossible to go any farther. Will you become apathetic or will you stand up with an unyielding spirit? The battle is decided by firm determination. When we have chosen a path to pursue the goal, we move steadily toward our chosen path, step by step, whether or not others are watching us, We meet difficulty with the steady relentless strength of ceaselessly flowing water. Such firmness of purpose, such integrity and perseverance builds a foundation that can never be compromised. Having a firm solid resolve is what secures the path of victory. Dedication helps our resolve to continue. Build life from inside out. Let not outside forces control you. Start with a goal that is relatively easy to accomplish. Then select a little difficult one. And keep on selecting and working on goals that have increasing difficulty. It is like climbing on a mountain. The supreme goal is attaining Enlightenment. Reflect on the following questions as you are walking on this spiritual path:
Get help from advanced fellow travelers and be grateful to them. Practice Mindfulness Meditation regularly. In life when we feel we have reached a limit, that’s when the true battle begins to go beyond the self-restricting limit. When we decide to live each moment fully, with all our might, to live true to ourselves and make the present moment shine, we discover and bring forth immense and unlimited strength. <- Go Back to Pragna Paramita Brian Conroy is a story teller and an excerpt from his book - Stepping Stones is published here. Following is my reflection to it:
Such simple and easy to understand stories teach a profound spiritual lesson. When we offer a gift from our heart without expecting any reward, it becomes an abundant offering. When a poor old woman heard that the Buddha was accepting offerings she had already eaten half of the pomegranate. The only thing she had to offer was the other half of that pomegranate. It was a meager offering but it had the deepest abundance. It is indeed a gift from the heart and that way it was priceless. Serving others with no axe to grind. This is the heart of the Karma Yoga narrated in the Bhagavad Gita. This is my understanding of spiritualty. It lifts us from a lower self to a higher self. I practice Karma Yoga in my life by sharing what I have with others mostly in the form of teaching without expecting any reward in return. This way of living feels my heart with deep joy, contentment, and fulfillment. Reading such stories from different wisdom traditions, contemplating on them, and sharing them with others has been very helpful to me in my spiritual journey. Daily practice of mindfulness meditation and cultivating skills of compassionate living help me stay on my path. It's by giving we receive! Namaste! Attachment is a kind of emotional involvement, our desire for certain things to remain the same as they are. For example, we are in a pleasant place like a beautiful beach of the sea. We like it very much and we want to hold on to it, we get attached to it. We get attached to sensual pleasures. We get attached to someone we like or love. There is a negative side of attachment called aversion. Aversion is a kind of negative attachment.
Basically there are two faces of attachment. Our desire for the pleasant things as they are. And our desire for the unpleasant things to change. We know pleasant things will change and end. If we do not realize it and keep on craving for things that are changing or going to change or going to end, we go through mental suffering. If we realize that nothing stays forever and accept the reality, we will not suffer. It is hard to let go of attachment for things, position, power and people in our life. We identify ourselves with things like cars, political persuation, national persuasion, sports. Such identification has its pleasant aspects but it leads into longer term suffering. I see some of my friends identifying themselves with a certain football team. No team always wins. They go through victory and defeat, ups and downs. My friends emotionally go through ups and downs along with the team’s ups and downs. Identifying ourselves with a certain team in the longer term brings suffering to us. Attachment to a person whom we love makes both persons miserable. We need to learn how to overcome our attachment caused by identifications. The opposite of attachment is non-attachment. It’s a state of mind in which we minimize or release our attachment to whatever we are attached to. It’s a kind of equanimity, upeksha, mental state of non-attachment to the worldly wind of success or failure. It does not mean that we should not be successful or strive to be better.. It is wise not to identify with the outcomes which are not guaranteed. We find joy in the process. If the outcome is great, that's great. If the outcome is not great we accept it with equanimity and move on. Samatva Yoga uchyate. Yoga is defined as equanimity in the mind. Non-attachment has a “near enemy”. It is indifference or disinterest, a “near enemy” of non-attachment. That’s not the right way to practice non-attachment. Indifference is like emotional divorce. “...the mind of non grasping is the essential unifying experience of freedom”-Joseph Goldstein. It's a free mind, a non-attached mind, a non-grasping and non-craving mind, a mind of non-identification. An attached mind is not free. A skillful state of mind operates in non-attachment. But it operates on the basis of kindness, compassion, empathetic joy and equanimity. <-Go back to Pragna Paramita “ Just as a flower gives out its fragrance to whoever approaches or uses it, so love from within us radiates towards everybody and manifests as spontaneous service.” -Swami Ramdas Most of us find it difficult to be compassionate to ourselves and to others. Caring for oneself and caring for others is a wise way of practicing spirituality. If I use my energy unmindfully for taking care of others, I may do a disservice to myself. I get compassion burnt out. I need to learn how to be balanced, even-minded. The less we dwell on ourselves, the more sensitivity will open to the needs and feelings of others. “Every time we hurt someone and grieve inside because of it, we are attending a valuable seminar on sensitivity. It is a seminar at the deepest and most personal level.” says Eknath Easwaran. Self-examination, self-honesty and self-awareness can be powerful tools for internal transformation. Daily Practice “ When we take our seat on our meditation cushion we become our own monastery. We create the compassionate space that allows for the arising of all things: sorrows, loneliness, shame, desire, regret, frustration, happiness.” Jack Kornfield “ Take the One Seat” If you feel remorse about something you have done in the past because it has caused harm to you or someone else, it can be helpful to acknowledge the harm it caused and undertake a commitment to refrain from such behavior in the future. Self-compassion and self -correction are the doorways to internal transformation. The same way, if you feel someone has harmed you, be empathetic and compassionate to the other person. Loving kindness-metta meditation heals the hurt caused to us and and also the hurt caused to others. <-Go back to Pragna Paramita We have an ordinary mind which is conceptual, delusional, and dualistic. The Enlightened Mind is also known as the awakened mind. It is pure mind untarnished by dualistic concepts, unhealthy emotions, and obsessive sensations-particularly strong clinging and craving- of our ordinary mind. These obsessive thoughts and sensations are the coverings that obstruct us from realizing and manifesting our true nature like the clouds covering the sun.
Wisdom is defined as insight knowledge endowed with virtue. It abolishes the darkness of delusion. It emerges by following the spiritual path of awakening, realizing and manifesting our true nature. A wise mind understands the three characteristics of all things:
There are three types of pragna or wisdom: 1. Learned pragna- knowledge and wisdom acquired form books or listening to teachers.(Skt-sravana) 2. Reflective pragna-by asking questions, by using logic and reasoning until you fully understand the true nature of reality.(Skt-manana) 3. From a higher state of meditation, from direct spiritual experience. (Skt-nididhyasana) <-Go back to Pragna Paramita |
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