Self-acceptance and Other-acceptance are inter connected.
Accepting oneself and the other in our lives is an ongoing journey as we go
through different phases of growth and development and face existential
challenges in our life. We never become perfect and can tell us “ I made it
and nothing I need to learn and change.” We all are journeying. We all are
human beings with our strengths and weaknesses.
The perfection syndrome prevents us from looking at our shortcomings and
making necessary adaptations and health promoting changes. This is
where the inner work of working on ourselves mindfully continues with ups
and downs in our life. With mindfulness practice, the upward journey gets
smoother and easier and helps us go through the downward journey with
fewer bruises. Ongoing introspection and self-awareness are our great
friends to keep us walk on the wholesome path.
Being honest with oneself and cultivating integrity are essential steps for
our well-being and the well-being of others in our life. And that requires
courage and compassion to be true to oneself. Fear is contagious and so
also courage. Hiding, denying or justifying the dark zone of ourselves
diminishes our potential to grow within us and between us. Let yourself say,
“ This is who I am, a human being like you.” I have my open self, closed
self, hidden self and the self about which I do not have a clue. My intention
is to expand my open self, reduce my closed self, enlighten my blind self
and go deeper to discover my unconscious blockages and be free from my
self-created trappings. Carl Jung calls shadow work-working on the dark
zone of our life.
This is an ongoing intrapersonal and interpersonal work in relationships.
You can’t know until you know and when you know, you know. I know that I
don’t know is the beginning of knowing. No emotions are wrong. Not
recognizing our emotions keeps us trapped and blocks the unfolding,
experiencing and manifesting our deeper and inherent positive kind, loving
and nurturing emotions. We need to be compassionately aware of our
holding on to the tightness of our fist, the hurt it creates and be willing and
bold enough to let it go and open it. The open fist is a welcoming fist, a
helping fist and a connecting fist. It offers the joy of giving, receiving, and
Being compassionate to oneself, forgiving oneself, freeing oneself and
taking care of oneself paves the way to be compassionate to others.
forgiving others, freeing others and taking care of others.
Self -acceptance done lovingly and compassionately is transformative. It
builds the bridge of self-empowerment, peace, deep contentment, joy and
happiness within ourselves and with others. When we practice mindfulness
consistently on a regular basis, we become free from our habitual and
conditioned patterns of thinking, emoting and acting. We function
May we continue our well-being journey mindfully, and lovingly share our
gifts with others.
"Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the presentvmoment, nonjudgmentally. It is about knowing what is on your mind.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
“ Mindfulness is about being fully awake in our lives. It is about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment. We gain immediate access to our own powerful resources for insight, transformation, and healing.” -Jon Kabat-Zinn
Jon Kabat-Zinn is the pioneer of bringing Mindfulness to the main stream in 1979. Since then it has grown by leaps and bounds in U S and in many countries of the world. Mindfulness is a life changing practice. Numerous substantial studies have demonstrated the biological,neurological, mental, emotional and relational benefits of consistently practicing mindfulness.
Mindfulness cultivates and sustains skills for growth and development in our personal life, interpersonal life, family life and in the community at large.
Numerous research studies have demonstrated benefits of regularly practicing mindfulness.
● Reduces Stress. Calms mind, relaxes body and creates a relaxation response.
● Stay Healthy. Reduces pain and inflammation, builds a stronger immune system, lowers blood pressure, recovers faster and conduces better sleep
● Improves Relationships. Helps us shed our defenses and grudges. Creates attunes,spaciousness and gracefulness that bonds us with others.
● Increases Performance. Mindfulness enhances focus, attention, memory, compassion, collaboration and other critical skills for increasing performance.
● Adding Years to Life. Mindfulness changes gene expression. Telomeres grow stronger and longer, correlating with longevity. Mindfulness adds years to life and life to years.
● Awakens and Expands. Mindfulness helps us connect more consciously with our full self and greater callings.
It is never too late to learn new tricks of the trade! Welcome to the journey of Mindfulness!
The universal essence is also the essence of our being.
Developing inner stillness is an essential part of the process of awakening. We need to slow down and calm our mind to wake up-to transcend the layers of thought and emotion that cloud our consciousness. By learning how to be still, we come to realize that we are not our sensations, thoughts, and emotions. The inner emptiness creates space for inner fullness. We enter into a world far beyond the mind, beyond the ego. We experience oneness within and without, the universe within and the universe without. There is one stream of consciousness flowing.
There are no twos, there is only one, and that’s who we are. Dr. Dan Siegel describes this state of being as MWe. What obstructs us from being connected with the spiritual essence of the universe and our being? It is our powerful sense of ego with all its cravings, attachments and ambitions. It separates us from others. Spiritual practices help us transcend separateness and connect us with the Divine Spirit which is in all beings.
When we realize our true nature, our true identity, we experience fullness, self-sufficiency, deep contentment with what we have. There is no concern for worldly success, worldly possessions and personal ambitiousness and personal promotion. We get unaffected by praise or blame, approval or disapproval, pleasure or pain.
Spending twenty minutes a day to practice Mindfulness Meditation is very beneficial for our mental and emotional wellness. It lays a good foundation for living clearly and peacefully.
We are a social being. We have a need to belong to, to be connected, to take care and to be taken care of, to share our dreams, joys and sorrows. We create a social net work, a world of relationships of all kinds. The closer the relationships, the greater are the challenges and opportunities for growth and development. A big challenge in interpersonal relationship is how to work through differences without causing emotional distances. What do we do to create and sustain bridges instead of walls? How do we communicate as I to I rather than I vs. I or I and It?
This is where the practice of Mindfulness Meditation comes into play.
Create personal space and time for processing the inner stuff by recognizing (awareness) and staying with it(attending) non-judgmentally, non-critically, without reacting , accepting it. This needs to be done gently, patiently and compassionately. We do not get stuck with or dwell on the energy draining recurring negative stuff. We are making a shift from fight, flight and freeze stress response zone to a stress free flowing zone. We are on the path to wellness. We are coming out of the cloudy sky to a clear sky. A wholesome understanding and insight arise from the clear mind. Right knowing leads to right speech and right action. We get numerous opportunities in our daily life to practice mindfulness meditation. We do not hold onto and accumulate negative stress resulting in self and other hurting behaviors.
The same procedure needs to be used when we encounter differences in intimate and important relationships. We follow the same procedure as a couple or as parents, teachers or friends and colleagues. We need to create space within ourselves and between ourselves to create and sustain I to I mode of communication resulting in we-together- mode of communication. We get numerous opportunities to work on ourselves personally and interpersonally.
So let us do it.
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