Suffering Is Never Alone But Shared

5/10/2024

I would like to begin my reflections on suffering by quoting the last sentence of this awakening article written by Richard Flyer: Suffering and supreme peace fit together like hand and glove. There is no light without darkness and no darkness without light. They are twins, not opposing each other but by joining hands together, they create wholeness and oneness. I am writing this from my personal experiences. Like others, I have had a belief that by denying my suffering I will be blissful and happy. It took time for me to come to realize that suffering and peace are two wings of the bird of life. By acknowledging and accepting my suffering without resistance, I can create space within me to learn from my suffering, the cause of suffering, and how to be free from suffering. I have learned to listen non-judgmentally to my inner voice to understand the cause of my self-created suffering, the way of going though it and beyond it. In our weekly Mindfulness Meditation satsanga group we share our joys and sorrows, what causes theses emotions and how to work through them mindfully. Sharing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors with others without judging them, we have created a spiritual family where we relate to each other empathetically, candidly and compassionately with an open mind and open heart.

Learning and practicing how to be fully aware and attentive to my self-created distractions and noises has been very helpful to me. This process of self -awareness without judgment has been a strong foundation for a peaceful, joyful and service oriented living. Awakened life is like a lamp that creates light to dispel darkness of ignorance, prejudice, self-serving cravings and attachments and leading to enlightenment. May we all have this light shining within us to keep us awake and walk on the right path.
Namaste!

2 Comments

Debbie Podwika

5/11/2024 02:11:11 pm

Hmm ... First I'll comment on Richard Flyer's post on suffering is shared. I do agree many times suffering is shared because it may be their other people in your life going through the same thing, perhaps it is grieving or living in a abusive environment. Though it is not always shared exactly the same. As you told me many years ago Dr Dave, "sometimes you put on someone else's shoes and they don't fit." We are all individuals with unique brains who perceive events differently. At the same time, it is actually comforting to know that those you share the suffering with can relate and in that way you can help each other out. You probably also heard though that there are some who suffer in silence. There are times that individuals don't share their suffering and others don't know a person is suffering, sometimes not until it's too late.

Now a few other points that have me thinking and I will probably continue thinking about...

I heard the phrase there is no light without darkness so many times throughout my life, and in general I had agreed with it. But lately, I think about some other things, like first of all there was a time where we our planet did not have sunlight for an extremely long time when the meteor hit the earth and caused volcanoes to erupt and sent ash up in the atmosphere. And yes eventually the light came out, but I think people should think about the fact that it can be a great deal of time period for people. For example, people may live in an extremely abusive situation for many many years. And there are some who I hope they have some light in their life, but their whole lives may be darkness. They may live in a part of the world where just having the basic necessities of food and water for themselves and their family is not always available. They may also live in constant fear of their lives being taken, or those they love, each day. Of course thinking about this today makes me extremely grateful for the life I do have even with whatever "troubles" I may have today.

I also am not sure that I agree we should be free of suffering. Now again people who have extreme suffering, like the examples I just mentioned, that I would love to take away from every person on this planet. I would love to have somebody figure out not only a cure for cancer for example,and many other disorders, but what is causing it so we could get rid of the cause in the first place. At the same time, I learned early on that suffering has a reason or purpose sometimes. I sometimes think of it as "growing pains." Just like we may suffer from physical growing pains yet there is a benefit, I believe the same thing happens cognitively. We may grow in our understanding, our compassion, in our spirituality etc. so I'm not sure I would want to be free of suffering totally. Just like a child has to risk falling down and hurting themselves in order to climb higher, we have to also risk being hurt or suffering if we want to grow in relationships, in our career, etc. But when we do fall and hurt ourselves, we take care of our wounds, heal up and get back climbing. Can we minimize how much we get hurt or suffer? Sure, some planning and researching ahead, double checking, not rushing to judgment, asking questions, getting enough sleep, getting good nutrition, various wellness activities, etc. can minimize suffering. And then there is the most important... when your mom kisses your boo boo.....LOVE!

Elaine K. Gotfryd Noonan

5/11/2024 03:53:04 pm

The personal process Dr. Dave' shared is what I consider the ideal method living the mindful life. Listening non-judgementally to my inner voice (which sometimes sounds like a whiney child) is so important for me to STOP and say "wait a minute". Really? Then I can create that space and the GREAT ME can listen to the LITTLE ME and realize (with compassion and a self wake-up call)

Thank you for sharing this wisdom.

Elaine

Mindfulness

Suffering Is Never Alone But Shared

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