Self-Compassion Over Self-Esteem

Here is an article that is worth a read and below is my reflection to it:

Self-compassion is kindness to ourselves. We all go through suffering and delightfulness. There are two ways of relating to our suffering and joyfulness: accepting our joys and sorrows compassionately without comparing ourselves with others and that way feeling up and down. There are two components of compassion: self-empathy and self-kindness. As we all know that we are not perfect. When we compare ourselves with others and feel higher or lower than others we get disconnected with ourselves and others. Such a perspective causes disconnection, separation and isolation.

When I was studying at the University of Chicago my self-esteem was somewhat wounded when I compared myself with other students who were brighter than me. I felt a sense of inferiority. My self-esteem was affected by what was going on in my mind, thoughts of not-good enough. When I developed friendship with a foreign student who felt compassion for me, I felt his empathic understanding and kindness for me. His compassion for me enkindled the light of self-compassion and self acceptance in me. I am very grateful to him for bringing me out of the dark period of my life.

What helps me make space for Self-compassion? I find the idea offered by Kristin Neff quite helpful. As she writes, " Instead of endlessly chasing self-esteem, we embrace ourselves with kindness. "Being empathic and compassionate to myself is very helpful to me to cultivate self-compassion. Practicing mindfulness meditation and non-judgmental self-awareness have been a blessing to me.

May we cultivate self-compassion and compassion for others as we are going through tough times in our life!