|
Based on the lovely article by Deborah Hawkins, here is my reflection:
If and when I relate to someone without preconceived notions and prejudices I get connected with that person easily. I need to keep my mind open to relate to the other person openly. There is freshness and openness in being with that person. My mind needs to be free from my preconceived ideas and notions about that person. This way of relating to the other person keeps our relationship flowing. Empathic listening with non-judgmental attitude is the key to creating and sustaining rich and nurturing relationship. We all need to be connected with others emphatically and compassionately. Sadly we feel lonely in a crowd with people relating to others as strangers or sometimes as adverbial. It is a lonely crowd syndrome. When I came to America in 1959 to study at the University of Chicago. I felt like an alien on the campus. The weather was very cold. I was away from my family. I felt lonely and depressed. There was a Polish student who lived on the second floor. I was on the first floor. As I was was walking out to attend my class, I heard a voice of that student. He put his hand on my shoulder, looked at me empathically and told me that I looked very sad. I told him that I was sad and somewhat depressed for leaving my family and having no friends. He held out his hand and and told me, "Consider me your brother". He as 6 and a half feet tall. He was white. He was Catholic. I am a brown colored Hindu, 5 and a half feet tall. He held my hand and told me: "Consider me your brother." When my family came to Chicago from India, he drove me to the airport to welcome my family. He became uncle Paul in my family. We will never forget him. He dwells in our heart. As human beings, we all can relate to each other as brother and sisters, uncles and aunts regardless of color, caste, and creed. In the world we live in which is torned by divisivenss, alienation and hatred, we need to wake up and relate to each other with empathy, compassion and open-mindedness and open-heartedness.
2 Comments
Debbie Podwika
5/30/2023 02:29:14 am
This post I can relate to in many ways. I'll use the example of the original post. My Mom passed away 2 years ago. At the end she was placed in Hospice. All of my family was able to see her before she passed away except for me. We had 35 below zero windchills and I planned on going the next day as the weather would be better. She ended up passing away that evening though. The night of her wake and morning of her funeral we then had a Huge snowstorm. There are many feelings I have, but this post makes me feel a bit better knowing those in the Hospice were with her at the end when I could not be there. I also am grateful for the few people who did brave the weather to come to her wake and/or funeral and help my family not feel alone. I also remember walking out of church behind my Mom's casket and my cousin grabbing my elbow behind me and getting close to my ear and saying with so much empathy and grief "I have no words." In that moment I did not feel alone. Sadly, about 2 weeks later my cousin's father had passed away & I, still grieving myself, tried my best to be there for her so she would not feel alone. Same when her Mom passed away this past March. I have other relatives and friends who reach out to me as well and help me each day. I just hope I am also equally there to give to others as much as I have received in my life.
Molly (Witt) Dillon
6/1/2023 11:10:08 am
J. P., Leave a Reply. |
RSS Feed