There Are Many Voices Beside Ours

Here is my reflection to a thought provoking article by Ella Cara Deloria:

Speech is silver. Silence is golden. I love this wise saying. I hope and wish talkative people know it and put into practice. Sadly, it is mostly reversed. Speech has become golden and silence has become silver. One of the hall marks of effective communication is listening with full and quiet attention and then respond. When someone talks, the poor listener is not interested in listening; he is interested in talking. It is vey frustrating experience for the listener. There is an ancient wise saying in Sanskit: " Guorostu maunam vakhyanam Shishtastu chinna samshayaha." Student's doubts are shattered by the silence of the Guru. The Guru teaches by silence. The teacher becomes a role model. The Guru observes the student with full attention and reads the mind of the student. The student learns a lesson of silence by fully paying attention to his Guru.
I am a teacher, counselor, and grandfather. I always listen to my students, clients, and grandchildren by listening empathetically what is going in their mind and heart. When I do this, they open up their heart and mind. Remaining mindfully silent empathetically and compassionately by listening, they feel understood and connected. There are many ways we communicate besides verbally- we communicate though our sensory channels such as eyes, ears, brows, hands, and touch. In order to understand the other person I need to be a silent observer, a silent listener with empathy and compassion. If we do not relate to other person this way, the bridge of communication and relationship breaks down. It is challenging for me as a listener how to relate to someone who has a strong urge to talk about himself without stopping for listening. Then it becomes a unipolar communication. As I had mentioned before, when I encounter such situations I empathetically and compassionately relate to such a person. And ask him to think about how he would he feel if he were in my position. This role reversal technique helps him. What helps me to relate to such people in my life is mindfulness practice, to relate to them with empathy and loving kindness, patience, and perseverance. I keep a beginner's mind and do not let me bound by the past events and be fearful or anxious about the future. And that provides modelling for them. Accepting we are not perfect and there is hope for making a shift is comforting.

Namaste!